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Hi, Dasha M.,
I’ve just put my mind’s toe into the water of Puja’s DeepDive tracks, knowing I do not have time at present
to do The Full Meal deal. Going through Community posts, I am so impressed with yours and your
willingness to ‘be present’ with what was going on at that time and also with your recognition of your
pattern. I think you were inviting suggestions and comments, so want to offer some. I’m a clinical
psychologist, if that qualifies:)When feeling overwhelmed, it might be time to take a nap, if you can. Or listen to Puja’s free deep-dive
initial track. We are so imploded and bombarded with information, so ‘time out’ is a good thing.How about considering this a road or path you are choosing to follow? You are allowed to stop and smell
the flowers, add to your rock collection, watch the birds. There is no hurry. The point is the journey and
the destination will be arrived at whenever it is. A trick I use myself when wanting something and frustrated
in process is to ask myself: and when you have it (whatever it is), what will you have? and when get an
answer that doesn’t cause a physiological reaction, ask of the answer, and when you have THAT, what will
you have? repeating until that physiological event occurs.
Your mind will lie to you and your emotions will lie to you, but your body will never lie to you … about what is real for you in a present moment. I wonder, with all of the different things you have gone after and then quit, whether it might be helpful to check in with yourself via an ‘ecology check’ as to whether ‘now’ is the right time, given present circumstance and whether all parts of yourself are up for the new challenge or project, whether you have the actual time needed at that time, and how you would arrange the required sessions. If all parts say, yes!, then go. Lots of things can be put on the wish list or calendar for later.Are you up for a couple more suggestions?
I hear a lot of ‘shoulding’ on yourself in the background of what you write. ‘Should’ is an opinion stated
as if it is the one right way to do or feel about something. It’s just an OPINION, not some Law. And it is
critical … or self, or when stated about something outside self, of others. Do an experiment with something
you are certain you ‘should’ have done but did something else instead. Paying close attention to anything you notice in your body, say the statement to yourself outloud:
“I SHOULD have stopped and gotten milk on the way home from work”, for example. Notice what happened physically with that statement. Now, again paying attention to your body, i.e. your breathing, muscle tension, whatever, and say the statement again, except substituting, “I wish” for “I should”: “I wish I’d stopped and gotten milk on the way home from work.” Notice your body’s reaction. What was the difference? The universal substitute is, “It would be nice if ….” I had stopped and gotten milk on the way home”. 🙂 Will work
on any should.Also re: shoulds: Do a search for ‘Byron Katie’, go to her website, look for the Resource page and download the worksheet and instructions. I have found her method to be very helpful when I get stuck in judgement, either of self or someone or some thing/situation etc. Incredibly freeing. When I get really down,
I listen to Disc 3 of her first CD set on path to relationships … which is about a young mother, Sally, convinced
that her eight year old SHOULD do his homework, especially since she is paying expensive tuition for his
school. I end up laughing so much … and laughing is curative: )Lastly, my five-star recommendation is to go to Amazon and order David Burns’ ‘Feeling Good Handbook’,
the large one, not the accompanying paperback. And when you feel like it, open it up and start reading.
It could change your life.
Hope this helps.
