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I have decided to share this with the Project yourself community, in hope that I could get some help or advice from those who are on here, taking the course, I stated level one, downloaded all the recordings for level one and started to unconsciously (which soon turned to consciously) avoid the rest, willing to be a bit more vulnerable and messy with everyone because I want to move away from this… months of this even as i come into project yourself isnt good:
Hello I am having a hard time,
I just cannot begin. Despite having the course, and all the bonuses and accesses to other resources to promote my growth I remain stuck, my problem is failing to be solved. Why? I am not sure at all, and I have been dwelling ever present in this information absorbing state, yet not utilizing it. I when I start, I cannot stay consistent, I get discouraged by one action, one request to my own growth. I get excited and let myself down, feel motivated and fall, I don’t know why I am making it so difficult for myself, it hurts even more that I have this chance I am an ignoring it, all. I am passing it up. And for what? To continue on this self-undoing path, queuing myself with positivity only to quickly tear it down, or chronically tear myself down little by little each day with my consistent failure to… activate myself and stay consistent. I lay in bed all day, admire the beautiful view from my window, the sun the blue sky, i take out my books and read or scribble and start to feel overwhelmed with my task. I have been relaxed… physically, but mentally there is a warring state. I have stopped going to therapy for my depression and anxiety but it is not the mood”disorder” that is holding me back as much as the habits and feeling of fear accumulated from the experience as a whole. In general coming into all of this has risen my “default mood” significantly or at least noticeably. I feel generally, better, more hopeful and shifted – but I am still plagued with this eternal trapped feeling. I do not know how to help myself….. I had written more about this to typnural– peak power hypnosis and got no response from them i will leave it here, its alot of the same information but more and perhaps you or whoever else will read this can help me overcome:
and yes i know that these courses are not a replacement for therapy, i do not take medications that goodness or any of that, I am waiting to find a therapist who is more aligned with this spirit work, jives better with my personality, and can act as a guidance point and who accepts my insurance of course.I have a very hard time beginning to commit to any of the programs or techniques that I have access to. And this has been my problem for the very beginning. I do not want much, I have learned much, nothing seems to work and I get… Impatient very quickly despite be persistent and trying to coax myself into action-oriented commitment… which isn’t much listening to typnural, listening to John Assarafs recordings about the brain, joining Project;yourself despite having access to these things for several weeks and feeling with my depression and anxieties and lack of spiritual emotional clarity but only pure determination and fluctuating hope…I am still stuck. Inaction is my plague and it causes a spiral down. A cycle if filling my head with information,a click of a few buttons of opportunities, self help, etc. Becoming incredibly motivated, feeling what ithink I’d the difference of being inspired… And then… And then nothing. I lye in bed and wonder why I can’t get myself to get up or at least listen to something helpful
Or why I can’t begin to wrote down my goals. I do the breathing once in a while when I feel or remember to. I have been gentle and patient for myself have a terrible time letting go of my responsibility because action. I don’t want much of the mainstream wants, aside from financial abundance but at the moment that’s the least of my concern. I just want to overcome this freaking inertia… paralysis.. Maybe I have overloaded myself with so many options that I have stolen my ability to act accordingly..overwhelm. Possibilities… Ugh I wonder if this will even reach anyone. I am 18, 3 years i have suffered from depression with an unknown/blurry initial cause (accumulation of childhood conditioning? like with everyone) and plenty of catalysts… I have soon to be thrown back into action with summer school, making up for failing senior year of High-school, which is not a big deal for me at this point despite… I know that I am intelligent and that I love and adore learning and school settings, the structure of it, the vibration of it.. that my failure is only on account of my… depression, emotional imbalance, worries, doubts, fears , overwhelm but MOST of all this inaction, incessant inertia.
I feel like if none of this can help or if I can’t be consistent enough to follow through myself then its over for me. That this is the last time, and I will be done trying and I will forget this life.
Yes I’ve had therapy, still believe in therapy still believe in spiritual growth, I know all I need is within, I know meditation could offer clarity if I could be consistent. I am terribly sorry if this is coming off snarky and rude. And also of all of the typos that may occur, i cannot focus my words how i would like because i am feeling angry, and… frustrated and lost, astray… I have acquired so much information and saturated myself in the wisdom of alot of things, from different sources, not in their completeness but in fragments like myself… and all that I connect to my younger receptivity and original perceptions. My soul is optimistic even though mentally I have become pessimistic , depressive, anxious. None of these programs ever talk about people who deal with mental illnesses or rather neurodiversity, true anxiety and what not. Chronic “illnesses” . Maybe one would think less er of me because of my age and angst.. but… It’s still valid. I am still valid. I am still a seeker, always have been. I am still.. not fulfilling my dreams. Which I promise you, aren’t so “Teen”-stream either. I love myself so dearly much. I’ve realized not quite unconditionally though. I appreciate much, i’ve been breathing more… i but I am getting there… i hate this inertia, i hate these insecurities, i hate this lack… i hate this
Resistance. And Inaction. Fear, the root cause. But I cannot… I have not yet unraveled it or stepped beyond it or understood the root causes of it… It’s habit… A habit of inaction. Comfortably in resistance and protecting myself from pursuing, with fear of hurting myself and my psyche. How… how can I overcome? It’s so strong and powerful.. these beliefs are so
.. Tied into my head that even as I come to know the truth through reading and i feel the truth lift my spirit, if is always merely for moment… Be it a day a week, etc. Generally, all together I have been better from my depressed feelings, weeks and I have only had “normal” ups and downs rather than truly intense hopeless bouts of them.
I have been ignoring all of my resources, you (peak performance) and neurogym and project:yourself… plus being merely a new ‘adult’.. I have financial dependency on financially insecure parents so…there is not much investment to be made unless I can round up my spirits to even wrote down the things I want and pray for abundance. I need to apply myself…. but the resistance. The resistance. I am… so disappointed….Welcome Dasha
I have only recently joined , but had I considered joining a year ago I would not have been able to absorb the information as I was not ready.By joining you have taken a major step.
It’s a lot of information to take in if you look at it as a whole and I myself am having to take my time as otherwise it can look like sensory overload and overwhelming, so it’s more manageable if you break it down to “bite sized” pieces.
The inertia you mention is not a bad thing if you look at it as your inner self telling you to take your time rather than jumping in head first. Being cautious can be a strength not a weakness.
It’s identifying your fears.
Fears are a maladaptive response which if we expose ourselves to them in our unconscious mind we while relaxed we can change our Perception of them.
Developing oneself cannot be rushed, even if we consciously wanted to, our unconscious mind has a mind of it’s own . You are in the bloom of your life, with your whole life waiting to be mapped in front of you. You are the creator of your journey. Enjoy the sights,smells,tastes,the touch of your journey.savour every second.there is no need to run the journey , so we don’t see what we have passed and know there is no time restrictions on the journey. Take how long it needs . We are all doing it at our own pace . I’ve spent over 2 weeks on level 2.
If you have a dream you will achieve it, I know you will.
It doesn’t matter if it takes 1 year or 10 years.
The result -the goal -will be the same .
Look at your inertia as unconscious thinking time . your conscious mind doesn’t need to know yet, or is maybe not ready yet. When it’s ready you will know .
Mindfullness may help and this doesn’t have to be quiet meditation with breathing , if you like walking the think about doing it mindfully , if it’s eating do it slowly and if you like walking , think about walking mindfilly , be present in your footsteps , walk without having to achieve any particular state. If you want you can take you shoes off if you like to feel your feet in the ground allowing you to Feel your connection to the earth.You are doing amazing having the confidence to express your feelings and I am glad to hear your depressed feelings are not as strong as they were.
Focus on appreciating all parts of yourself as you are a wonderful person deserving of the abundance, love and joy that will come your way.Stay focused on the fact that you have inner strength. Youre strong feelings of inertia which will in time, when its ready , will turn to strong active participation and when that happens savour every
minute and enjoy the ride .Keep in touch and let me know how you get on .
Hi Dasha forgot to say focus on your passion for learning and the strength and positivity of your soul. Our ego , our conscious minds can Jeopardise things. It’s just acknowledging when it does and trying not to focus on that negativity.
If anything allow yourself to just listen to the programme. You don’t have to stress about writing anything down. It will happen when you are good and ready, no sooner.
Try not to force it , as its human nature for all of us to do so, just see it as time for inner growth you cannot see . You will become the butterfly and fly. But you can never force a caterpillar to become a butterfly faster. If you do it won’t thrive .
Enjoy the course and don’t feel guilty -take how long it has to, stay on a level as long as it needs, that’s what I am doing and try not to stress that you feel you are not participating or creating , trust me you are already, your unconsious is working for you even if you don’t know it yet.
And by just being here you are moving forward on your goal already. ( even if you don’t consciously know what that is).
Have faith in your inner strength and spirit that
It will guide you when the moment is right .All the best 😊
Hi Dasha
Have been thinking of you today and imagining the beautiful blue sky from your window .
You are lucky as in Scotland we usually have grey clouds . If I were in politics we would have a sunny day holiday if there were clear blue skies. 😊Sounds like you are reading a lot and taking in a lot of information. It’s hard resisting wanting to know it all now. But If you can try and focus on just a few at a time , break the information down into manageable sizes ,(as our minds can only process 8-9 bits of information at a time ) . And don’t feel you have to write anything down you don’t not now ,only do it when you are ready , don’t force it and don’t beat yourself up, it can tand a few listens at the course, everyone is different . You are doing fab starting in the first place .
Was going to suggest you may like hypnotherapy
particularly parts therapy as it unifies the separate parts of you and would and unite these parts which jeopardise you into your whole so that you work as one positive body.I have been to hypotherapy in the past and can vouch it works, so much so , I became one myself .
Be strong, allow your inner spirit to grow and do not give up as you are only at the start of your life .
Become the person you are meant to be and will Be.Keep in touch and let me know how you are getting on .
HI Dasha and Dawn.
It is amazing how information comes to you at the time you need it! I have just come across Dasha M’s email; and as I read it I felt like the words were coming out of my mouth. I must admit I was surprised at the youthful age as I am in my 50’s and can relate to the immobility which causes me so much frustration…..clearly not an affliction of my advancing years…lol. Dasha, I can relate whole heartedly as for the last 13 years I have suffered as you have, with the inability to move forward despite the best intentions. I am an ex-Army veteran and 3 years ago was diagnosed with PTSD, anxiety and depression, and like you do not want to take medication so spirituality is my chosen method to heal myself. I have come a long way in forgiving, knowing myself etc, however my inability to take action is a major obstacle to me achieving a goal which I believe is my Dharma.
Dawns words are exactly what I needed to hear as well, as I have been beating myself around because I am not at it every day! Words from you both are what I have need to give me a good nudge to put things into perspective…….because in the big picture I really have achieved more since starting this course than I have done for quite a few years, sometimes we need to put things in perspective and remember everything happens in natural time when it is meant to.
Warm wishes to you Dasha, you will achieve great things as you recognise you need to deal with things. Many people will get stuck in that inertia as they don’t recognise the fact that only they can change their lives….it is easier to blame others!
Thank you both, I am going to go out for a long meditation walk & clear the cob webs!
Kind regards
Susan EHi Susan
I hope you had a good meditation walk and cleared your mind. Sometimes that is all we need, connecting to the earth to feel the ground beneath our feet and the air in our lungs to Feel alive and know that we are all survivors and are here.
To be in the moment and appreciate it for what it is . That’s why they call it the present as its gift .I want to welcome you and say I am glad that you joined project yourself and that we are all on this journey together and can support and encourage
each other . I am sure that you will achieve your goal and look forward to hearing all about it when you do .This course is the start of positive change for all
of us and this journey can only be travelled at Our own pace .I for one am savouring and absorbing the information slowly as otherwise it would go in one ear and out the other . ( my husband can vouch for that ..haha)
Keep in touch and let me know how you get on 😊
Greeting Dasha, Dawn and Susan,
Welcome Ladies, I have been here only a little longer than yourselves, and your words echo familiarity to my heart and mind… I to am in my second half century, (getting younger i believe) , and have also struggled for many years with Anxiety and depression… so Dasha you have taken an amazing step to reach out and express yourself so eloquently – see this expression as a gift you may not have recognised within yourself….you spoke of you challenges so clearly we all felt as if we were right there beside you, and i was literally right there, doing the same… looking out the window wondering if the world even knew i existed…
I too felt the pain of this inertia, not so long ago, since i saw signs you have mentioned Dasha.. Dawn and Susan is right in acknowledging time and space for things to change at the right pace, and not forced… I found this very hard to accept and it became my daily challenge…I had to accept that there was a better way for me and it was not the way i had always done things. I had to embrace change…. in very small doses at first
Breathe beautiful one and know that there are many here to look out for you as you start this journey… I am still on level one at one particular point dealing with a lot i know i must address before i can move on ….
That i know i needed to stop and rest and reflect for longer here…this is my gift of awareness to myself.. and its all ok !! that this is how its meant to be… we all walk at a different pace depending upon our height and the daily mood and the goal for the day.
And there is nothing wrong in that.. dont judge yourself by the movement of others you are not others, you are you !I am now creating a new life direction and improving my financial circumstances around me, a new business venture is on the horizon, new employment was gained 2 weeks ago and new friends are popping up all since starting the course only 3 weeks ago – so very quickly in fact,,,,and you will experience this too Dasha…make sure you simply start by finding one lovely thing to celebrate that happened in your day.. as these are the signposts for gratitude and they are around you… and then look for 2 then next … it might be a stranger smiled at you or you smiled at them, or you let someone have that parking space you just found….
its all in the little things around you…
Dawn’s suggestions of bringing mindfulness into your daily activities is a great starting point.. it is all in the change of a single thought…and not admonishing yourself for other thoughts ….you will have them, as we all do…we just notice them, try not to become engaged with them… and send them on their way gently..
I believe we need to be more gentle with ourselves…we beat ourselves up so much more than is necessary….
Take care precious caterpillar – you are on the path to transition into a beautiful creation..just imagine you are resting on a wonderful leaf, on a safe and secure branch upon a strong and aged and very wise tree that is protecting you as you grow.. and we are all the other leaves surrounding you, protecting and supporting you as you do
We hope to hear from you soon
Rachelle -EnviroDreamGirl
Wow Dawn, Susan, Rachelle,I want to thank everyone all at once first, for all the gracious and generous replies. So many reassuring words and personal realities offered. Thank you so much; your messages touch my heart and I want to address particular things in each individual message if you all won’t mind my abundant wads of text….
I find it nice that we are all pretty much just getting started with Project:Yourself together. So, welcome to you all also!~ And thank you for commemorating me on taking this first step, I had a chance and took it and I am pleased to meet all 3 of you.
Its especially comforting to know that within this I could have such an understanding community here. Each of our journeys are unique, challenging and related and thats what makes community so important. I hope I will feel empowered and reduce my anxiety enough to be active within it… offer you my strength and hope and glimpses of experiences as you have me. I have been seeking community, like minded beings, spiritual- growth oriented believers, and guidance, etc. Yet, I have been hesitant to poke my head in-places and get involved because I know my habits of inconsistency might leave me a little lost, and building anxiety around participating and letting others down… such as with these very replies. If I ever fail to reply back, please know that I’d heard your message, I read it and appreciated it. Ah– I know you all understand, and though its not required its comforting.
You see, I have been doing ‘this’ (this, being the spiritually inclined) alone for quite some time. . Erm– I think there’s a saying that means something like, we all fight our own battles in solitude however we don’t have to do it alone. I’ve been so blessed, with a few outside forces of support, (save my family) Therapists, friends, certain school staff. Though they are nonspiritual or unaware of my spiritual path, but just as appreciated avenues. I have been assuming responsibility for my own wellness, and giving it to others (therapist, friend) .. a tad desperation, yet with selectivity. Fluctuating between self-help and seeking-outside help…. and everything in between…
Anytime I discover something good for me, something that could lead to improvement, I begin building momentum in the right direction, and then its like I get cold feet. I revel in it for a bit and then start levitate in the other direction, avoid, no-show, rationalize excuses that seem harmless, but later realizing they were blatantly obvious mini-blows to my progress. I allow myself to become distracted enough to let the doubts creep, and sink deeper and father away from that great growth opportunity. I end up dripping and pouring into a self-sabotage that seems unwarranted. Habit of hiding away at home like something bad will happen or has happened, building anxiety around things or treating myself to feel better and be less cruel to me…. This tendency reflects every aspect of my life, a bad habit. Inertia. It even applied here to these replies. I created this reality and here I must undo it, but with patience and tenacity. Hmm.. I have been a lot hesitant to reply back, thinking that despite the access to the community here no one would really pay mind, or that I wouldn’t find what I wanted in the community, or that I will have too much to say and might only start to go off on tangents talking about myself as I am here.. please forgive my inability to be brief. But you all encourage me, we can support one another.. just as Rachelle put it so beautifully with the leaves and tree analogy, goodness.
All of you lovely ladies I assume ( I am a lady too hehe). I notice that I tend to get along and feel more comfortable talking with adults.. older in age people. I love my peers, however there is alot of pressure to perform, underlining insecurities that we all exchange so often with one another that isn’t AS present when talking to adults. I love how all of you accept and relate to me… I look forward to talking more with you all.
I’ve read all of your messages via email and read them all when they first arrived, just was waiting for myself to feel ready to reply. Each was received wholeheartedly and I am wanting to give you simple words of gratitude back. I apologize for my belated response and once again the length of it.
Its very hard to find good advice pertaining to such things, inertia… beyond being stuck and full of information but just … a lack of participation that’s like maddening… literal idleness. Murr, I’m getting caught up again. On to the other messages.
Goodness, I could write a book. I’m sorry. It may take me some time… another reason for my hesitance to reply is due to my anxiety around my writing. I hope you are all doing well! Thank you for taking the time out of your day to read my rambling…
Hi, Dasha
Based on my experience with level one here is what might work for you: start from Forgiveness exercise and do it backwards. Start from forgiving yourself for everything you just listed above and take as many hours, days or weeks you need. Summarize everything with a promise you make to yourself and see what happens.
Instead of writing you can try …drawing. draw lines, symbols, bubbles, etc. Some of my notes only I can “read”.. that helps me get started.Wondeful posts….Thank you all especially you Dasha for starting. The advice is spot on, I feel, you all sound like experts but we are all on a journey qnd we are supposed to help each other because we then get the benefits again.
I read somewhere that overwhelm is caused by doing things in the wrong order……that really struck me. And if I let the following in and resonate with me I feel a wonderful Peace “Be still and know that I AM God”……
Blessings to you all
Enjoy the ride.
ShaunHow are you doing now? It’s been awhile since you first posted this thread, but it caught my attention since I was stuck in the same loop around level 3 (and am stuck again in level 6, but that’s another story). First, others have mentioned this, but please don’t feel alone with any mental struggles or illnesses you have. I noticed too that most spirituality-based programs don’t mention mental illness, and I’ve also had depression and anxiety disorders since I was a teenager… I was told I would grow out of it, and of course I didn’t–until now. I’m 27, and since getting through the first few levels, my mental illnesses–and asthma, for that matter–have become barely noticeable. This is possible, and it may happen as you move forward. And if not, don’t worry, you’ll learn to work at your own pace with what you’ve got.
I also just wanted to mention some practical daily practices to help get past the inertia. I think everyone has said every other point I wanted to say, but I’ve just found some daily life tricks that really helped me push past inertia when I was stuck in the same place. First, Amish mentions in one of the bonus videos that it heals our body more if we get to sleep before 10 pm. I tried this. It didn’t work. So I started meditating five minutes a day as soon as I woke up. Then I stopped drinking alcohol, and eventually energy drinks, cutting down gradually on both, then tried going to bed a little earlier each night. Slowly, that worked. I noticed I had more time in the mornings before work to get things done. So I added more meditation to my daily routine, and gradually other things. Now I go to bed at ten, wake up at five, spend two hours meditating, praying/chanting, singing, playing the lyre, and practicing aikido. All of it helps me get my mind, heart, and body in the right place for the day. If this sounds ridiculously impossible, keep in mind it’s coming from someone with depression, general anxiety, BDD, PTSD, a moderate alcohol addiction, a serious caffeine addiction, and who used to go to bed at 5 am and wake up around 2 pm. What worked for me when I spent about a month on levels one and three was to set a STRICT five-minute DAILY practice, and gradually, GRADUALLY work my way up. It takes time and dedication. Be patient with yourself, and move forward at your own pace, but try to make sure you do keep moving, even if it’s very, very slowly. I hope this helps.Hi, Dasha M.,
I’ve just put my mind’s toe into the water of Puja’s DeepDive tracks, knowing I do not have time at present
to do The Full Meal deal. Going through Community posts, I am so impressed with yours and your
willingness to ‘be present’ with what was going on at that time and also with your recognition of your
pattern. I think you were inviting suggestions and comments, so want to offer some. I’m a clinical
psychologist, if that qualifies:)When feeling overwhelmed, it might be time to take a nap, if you can. Or listen to Puja’s free deep-dive
initial track. We are so imploded and bombarded with information, so ‘time out’ is a good thing.How about considering this a road or path you are choosing to follow? You are allowed to stop and smell
the flowers, add to your rock collection, watch the birds. There is no hurry. The point is the journey and
the destination will be arrived at whenever it is. A trick I use myself when wanting something and frustrated
in process is to ask myself: and when you have it (whatever it is), what will you have? and when get an
answer that doesn’t cause a physiological reaction, ask of the answer, and when you have THAT, what will
you have? repeating until that physiological event occurs.
Your mind will lie to you and your emotions will lie to you, but your body will never lie to you … about what is real for you in a present moment. I wonder, with all of the different things you have gone after and then quit, whether it might be helpful to check in with yourself via an ‘ecology check’ as to whether ‘now’ is the right time, given present circumstance and whether all parts of yourself are up for the new challenge or project, whether you have the actual time needed at that time, and how you would arrange the required sessions. If all parts say, yes!, then go. Lots of things can be put on the wish list or calendar for later.Are you up for a couple more suggestions?
I hear a lot of ‘shoulding’ on yourself in the background of what you write. ‘Should’ is an opinion stated
as if it is the one right way to do or feel about something. It’s just an OPINION, not some Law. And it is
critical … or self, or when stated about something outside self, of others. Do an experiment with something
you are certain you ‘should’ have done but did something else instead. Paying close attention to anything you notice in your body, say the statement to yourself outloud:
“I SHOULD have stopped and gotten milk on the way home from work”, for example. Notice what happened physically with that statement. Now, again paying attention to your body, i.e. your breathing, muscle tension, whatever, and say the statement again, except substituting, “I wish” for “I should”: “I wish I’d stopped and gotten milk on the way home from work.” Notice your body’s reaction. What was the difference? The universal substitute is, “It would be nice if ….” I had stopped and gotten milk on the way home”. 🙂 Will work
on any should.Also re: shoulds: Do a search for ‘Byron Katie’, go to her website, look for the Resource page and download the worksheet and instructions. I have found her method to be very helpful when I get stuck in judgement, either of self or someone or some thing/situation etc. Incredibly freeing. When I get really down,
I listen to Disc 3 of her first CD set on path to relationships … which is about a young mother, Sally, convinced
that her eight year old SHOULD do his homework, especially since she is paying expensive tuition for his
school. I end up laughing so much … and laughing is curative: )Lastly, my five-star recommendation is to go to Amazon and order David Burns’ ‘Feeling Good Handbook’,
the large one, not the accompanying paperback. And when you feel like it, open it up and start reading.
It could change your life.
Hope this helps.
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